Apple Sued. Why? iPod Causes Hearing Loss.

An iPod owner has sued Apple and claims the iPod causes hearing loss in people who use it. What’s next? People suing McDonald’s and claiming Mickey D caused them to become fat?

Wait. My bad. That’s already happened. McDonald’s is mainstream so you’d expect that kind of thing. Mickey D’s has also been sued because their hot coffee is hot. Go figure.

How about this one? Let’s sue McDonald’s in a class action affair alledging that McDonald’s causes tooth decay.

I had planned to write this yesterday when the story broke, but Tera beat me to it with a little blurb on her new personal journal web site, TeraTalks. It’s worth repeating today as no one’s reading Tera’s site.

Is this much ado about not much? I’m sure Apple takes all such lawsuits seriously. After all, “you never know.” What’s the issue? The iPod is defective. Did you know that? Me neither.

In a brief but hilarious (read between the lines) article in the San Jose Mercury News, AP reporter Dan Goodin spells it out for all the world to hear…

Ka ching. Maybe I’ll get a rebate on all the iPods I’ve bought. Even a couple hundred dollars each would help out. Trust me. I’m not going to be at night dreaming of where I’ll spend my iPod rebate money.

Goodin also reports:

That’s plenty of potential rebate money so I’m sure Apple will sic the Baskerville Hounds (lawyers) on the idiocy perpetrator… er, the plaintiff and his lawyers to bring justice and truth to all.

The lawsuit brings up an interesting point. Apple does include a statement of risk regarding the iPod’s volume. Each iPod carries a warning in the box: “permanent hearing loss may occur if earphones or headphones are used at high volume.”

Really? I’m shocked, surprised, disappointed, flattered (Apple cares about me), and a little stupefied. I’m blonde but I’m smart enough to know that Drano is not a cocktail mixer, that burning candles shouldn’t be store in the closet, and if the sound is too loud, turn it down.

Opportunistic is the word of the day. Why? Because, as Goodin writes, “Apple was forced to pull the iPod from store shelves in France and upgrade software on the device to limit sound to 100 decibels, but has not followed suit in the United States, according to the complaint.”

The French don’t like loud but they like Jerry Lewis. Go figure.

My favorite phrase in the whole article was Apple’s official response, which, of course, was a non-response: “Apple spokeswoman Kristin Huguet declined to comment.”

Kristin then hung up the phone, laughed hysterically, and wet her panties. It could happen. In this case, it would be appropriate. Embarassing, yes, but fully understandable.

It’s a frivolous lawsuit that would never see the light of day if the loser in such cases were required to pay the legal fees of the winner in the US court system.

Tera Patricks
This is another reason why we pay higher prices and why Apple needs to remain profitable and have wads of cash. Lawyers.

Jack D. Miller
There’s no doubt that loud sound can cause hearing loss. How is it proved that such loss came from an iPod?