Are You Being Sucked Into Apple’s Money Funnel?

I’ve been playing with iLife ‘08 for a couple of weeks. Apple just gets better at ease-of-use and integration.

No one is better than Apple at taking our money and making us feel good about it. I’m not sure if I’m being treated at a trough where I pay, or kneeling before an alter—where I pay.

There’s not much to not like with what Apple is doing these days; save the noise over iMovie ‘08. Apple says people weren’t using iMovie because it was too difficult. Someone told me the real problem is all those Windows switchers who muddy the digital movie waters.

Something struck me as I went to set up my .Mac account so it could receive my iWeb family web site. I wasn’t sure if my revelation was a brilliant observation from an experienced Mac user, or not-quite-ready-for-prime-time baby boy kicking in places he shouldn’t.

Whatever the cause, the revelation struck, stuck, and began to grow. What is it? I have a lot of money invested in Apple products. It’s like I’m slowly being sucked into a comfortable vortex, a digital opium room where I give money, Apple gives pleasure.

There’s not much about Apple that’s not pleasurable these days. My husband insisted we buy Apple stock about three years ago. That’ll help pay for the new baby and get me a new iMac with a 24-inch screen. Not necessarily in that order.

iLife ‘08 really shines with a .Mac account—an extra $100 or so each year. Upload photos to gorgeous galleries. Upload movies and audio podcasts, all slickly produced in iMovie, iPhoto, Garageband, and iWeb. There’s no upgrade price with iLife ‘08. Pay the freight. Full freight.

Our home has a number of Macs, older and newer, and we always upgrade to the latest iLife and Mac OS X. We’ve also got three or four iPods, at least one of which hasn’t seen the washing machine or the toilet (did you know that an iPod nano fits perfectly in the hands of an 18-month old girl?), though I’m certain it’s not the same one.

Macs and iPods. iLife and .Mac. Money expenditures beget opportunities to spend more money on devices and gadgets and fun that fully integrates with all the other devices and require—guess what? More money.

The iPod connects to the Mac. The Mac connects to the internet. iTunes connects to the iTunes Store. The iTunes Store connects to my credit card number. I get disconnected from my money but I’m happy about it. That’s the Apple way.

Apple even invaded and integrated the iLife turf with the iPhone. You can connect to the internet two ways, WiFi or AT&T. AT&T gets money each month. So does Apple through their revenue sharing deal with AT&T.

My iPhone uploads photos to a .Mac web gallery. How long will it be before the iPhone camera has movie capability? Then we can upload direct to YouTube from the iPhone. Apple gets a cut of search results from Google when we use Safari. Will Google pay Apple when we upload movies to YouTube?

I’m living in an Apple created digital money funnel and going down fast. Macs. iPods. iPhone. iTunes music, and movies, and TV shows. .Mac. AppleTV. All my digital opium devices are connected by an Apple Airport Extreme that covers my household like a radioactive cloud of pleasure. I pay. I get pleasure.

Facts is facts. Apple is rich, highly prosperous, with a hundred million happy customers, and millions more coming to the Alter Funnel™ every month.

We’ve been sucked into a money funnel of pleasure, a digital opium den of gadgetorial delights. I just smile, click on something, smile again, and hand over my credit card. Again.