British Press Throws Toothpaste On Apple’s Parade.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, right? Even the British press, whose opinions share a tint of crusty bitterness at least two centuries old. They hate Apple.

Steve Jobs announced new Apple products, as expected and with some surprises. The company’s revised the entire product line, top to bottom, in nine months.

Sales and profits are at an all time high, the stock is steadily moving up the ladder, and market share gains are notable.

What does the British press have to say? Look at the recent headlines and quotes from the UK.

“Why the iPod is losing its cool.” The Guardian.

“Jobs makes people desire gadgets they don’t want or need.” Telegraph.

“What if Apple held a movie party, but only Disney came?’ The Register.

“Every empire crumbles.” Guardian.

You get the idea. They’re stirring up dust to sell papers and get hits on their web sites.

When you wrestle with a pig, both you and the pig get muddy. But the pig loves it. From time to time, so does Kate.

Here goes. For example, David Derbyshire of the Telegraph says,

Don’t you love it. The press telling us what we need and don’t need. Let’s see, hmmm, what does Apple sell?

Music players, computers, software, music, movies, and so on.

These products are not wanted, not needed, and we have absolutely no use for them, uh, how?

Uh, oh. Don’t go there, Kate. Don’t do it. Must exercise s e l f c o n t r o l…  Arrrgh. 

What? The British press is telling me that mild shampoo every day is a no-no? Hey, bub. How about toothpaste? I’ll bet that’s a daily no-no in Telegraph land, too.

Wait. There’s more. Victor Keegan of The Guardian needs lessons in fact checking. Is it any wonder the Brits don’t like pre-moistened toilet paper? They’re using daily rags like The Guardian instead.

See what I mean? It was not a developer’s jamboree. It was a press event, for which Victor obviously wasn’t invited. hence the pot shots at Apple from a press overlord exposed to too much pot, I presume.

Amazingly, a few million of us have been clamoring for an easy way to collect video, photos, music, slide shows, TV shows, music videos on our computers, and get them to our TVs.

That’s not a simple task and Microsoft’s Media Center doesn’t do the job. A pre-announcement will dampen competition? Hardly.

Victor, Victor, Victor, puhleeze. Is there not a PC in the UK that plays QuickTime? Had you taken the trouble to fact check, or merely watch Steve’s presentation, you would have known that the term “iTV” was an internal code name for the product, not the final name. Tsk, tsk. Listen carefully next time.

Besides, the name is hardly enough fodder even for British lawyers, though I’m sure the same ones who handled the Beatles’ failed lawsuit in Apple Corps vs. Apple Computer would be game. They’d lose again.

(Editor’s Note: reprinted by permission from Kate MacKenzie’s article in NoodleMac)