Drastic Plastic Surgery: Your Mac Adds Inches To…

Plastic surgery costs thousands of dollars to add a few inches here and there, to get the natural bulges to look more, uh, better.

Of course, bulges added in the right place and any girl (or guy) instantly becomes more popular. What can your Mac do to make more of what you have less of?

It must be sweeps week on the network TV shows. I saw a feature news item on one of the local TV shows regarding Drastic Plastic Surgery. That got me to thinking…

Reader “Pamela Anderson Cooper” provides two helping hands full of emoticons for today’s subject. Below. Way below.

Photoshop to the rescue. Or Photoshop Elements. Or any Mac graphics application with the right filters, and poof, you’re, uh, more populated, er, popular than ever.

I don’t know for myself but I’m sure that plastic surgeons do this same kind of thing before augmenting anything real.

In this day of digital cameras and photograph and image manipulation, it doesn’t take much for you to find out what drastic plastic surgery looks like before you pay someone to get drastic.

For example, let me add a few inches to a couple of places that help enhance enduring popularity. Yes, I’m encouraging you to try this at home.

First, get out the digital camera, strip down to the waist, and take a full frontal digital image. Or two. Flash or no flash.

Second, pop the image into your Mac. Using iPhoto is great for storing images but not much on image manipulation and manipulate is what we’re after here. Otherwise, it’s drastic plastic surgery. Grab your favorite Mac graphics application; Photoshop, Elements, GraphicConverter, Fireworks, or whatever.

For this example, I’m using the filters in Photoshop Elements, although other applications and filters can do the same thing or better. Your mileage may very.

Open your “before” image, select the area you’d like to enhance, and click.

Suddenly, Susan is bigger. So’s her twin sister.

That’s all there is to it.

Well, almost. You see, once you’ve figured this out, there’s no end to what you can do. You say your “end” is just too much. Get that camera out, shoot a few shots; with your Mac and Photoshop, you’re a personal weight reduction machine.

That nose is longer than you need and doesn’t measure up, or down. Your Mac, Photoshop and about 20-minutes, and you’re better looking than anyone on Will & Grace.

Examples? We got examples.

We got examples. Before and after, actually. This is almost too easy. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before, it’s so easy.

Find that body part that needs adjusting. Whip out the digital camera (in the privacy of your own home, of course; we don’t want any incidents at the Border’s Book Store Cafe). Click. Click. Click.

And for good measure. Click again. Put the photos into your Mac and learn all about how to make drastic plastic surgery a whole lot less drastic. Don’t have Photoshop (Shirley, you jest?), then try Photoshop Elements (even works on Windows). Better yet, if you’re a Mac user on a budget I’ll highly recommend Graphic Converter. Go to VersionTracker and do a search on Graphic Converter.

You can convert more than one graphic with the right converter. Long, short, wider, fuller, thinner, smoother.

From what I can tell, this works equally well on noses, foreheads, chests (and other parts), bottoms, legs, chins, cheeks (all four or six or eight, depending), and, if you take a little time-- hair.

For guys whose various and sundry anatomy parts don’t match the long nose size (you know what they say...), reduce the nose. It’s easy. Click, click, click.

So, before you get drastic with the plastic surgery, check out what your Mac can do for you first. If you like what you see, maybe something more permanent than a digital image could be arranged with the nip and tuck doctor of your choice.

Meantime? Click is cheaper on your Mac.

updated Faithful reader Pamela Anderson Cooper chimes in with the list of emoticons that seem to fit the situation. Sorta…

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