Dvorak: Apple Will Drop Mac OS X For Windows.

What a wild week. It’s been 150 years since a US Vice President shot anyone.

A trojan horse arrives for iChat in Mac OS X, and tech columnists finally go crazy (as if you could notice without medical examination).

What’s the latest? You won’t believe it. First, John Dvorak says Apple will dump Mac OS X, as the operating system for the Mac, and switch to Windows.

Second, ZDnet’s Paul Murphy says Apple should dump Intel and go back to Freescale’s new chips because they’re cheaper and better.

Tech pundits are so much better than popular fiction. They’re live and entertaining. Are they on to something or simply “on something?” I report. You decide. Choose wisely.

Dvorak comes first. John was once a highly respected tech journalist until he figured out he could make more money pintificating, uh, sorry; pontificating the ridiculous.

His columns are popular and widely read on the internet, though many observers suspect an alien entity bent on climbing new neights in human absurdity has taken over his body.

The latest progression of anal antics is postured in the form of column headlined by the question: “Will Apple Adopt Windows?”

In short, Dvorak says it’s plausible that Apple will dump Mac OS X and begin running Windows that looks like OS X.

Citing someone else’s “theory” about the impending switch, Dvorak follows a logical procession of so-called signs:

IBM dropped OS/2 for Windows. Bill Gates appeared on screen at Macworld 1997. The Apple “Switch” ad campaign didn’t work. The iPod was designed to get people to move to Mac and it didn’t. The iPod lost the Firewire connector. Apple switched the Mac to Intel chips. Adobe and Microsoft haven’t ported their mainstream apps to Mac OS X on Intel.

Sure. All that must point to an impending switch to Windows Vista with a Mac-like GUI. I can see it now. Can you? From there Dvorak postulates that Mac market share will increase dramatically.

Gone, of course, are the reasons why any Windows users would then switch to a Mac. How do people get paid good money for writing such nonsense?

Speaking of switches, what is it about Apple’s switch to Intel chips that has ZDnet’s Paul Murphy’s thong in a twitch?

Murphy calls Apple’s move to Intel a huge mistake. Why? Because the new Intel iMac is slower than the IBM G5 PowerMac.

He says the Mac maker should dump Intel quickly, and move to Freescale’s upcoming e600 and e700 processors because they’re, well, other than being unavailable vaporware, have the potential for being better than anything by Intel. And cheaper.

Apparently smoking the same substance that made the Vice President such an alert hunter and a good shot, Murphy says Apple should stick the OS X GUI onto Linux and make it available on any PC.

Why? Because that would be an incentive for Windows and Linux users to switch.

How would Steve Jobs sell this scenario to Wall Street and the Mac customer base? By saying, “Oops!” My bad. After all, customers love and trust companies that take responsibility for their mistakes, right?

Murphy then cites the Proctor and Gamble Tylenol case as an example. Uhhhhh… Honestly, I’m not making this stuff up.

Someone conned both Dvorak and Murphy into a bet as to who could dream up the most ridiculous articles and get them published before April Fool’s Day.

Right now it’s a dead heat tie.