New iMac Lags Behind All-in-One PC from HP.

It’s hard being a Mac user. We have to put up with so much abuse despite having, arguably, the coolest computer, coolest music player, and coolest cell phone on the planet.

The latest abuse? The iMac lags behind HP’s all-in-one PC. Seriously. It does. An oft quoted “analyst” says so. It must be true.

Unless you were traveling, living under a rock, or working at Microsoft, you already know that Apple introduced some classy new iMacs recently.

Classy, glassy, and aluminum—lower in price, faster in speed, glossier in screen, and with an all encompassing increase in the ooooooh decibel meter.

To be fair to critics, if you can find one, these iMacs are less revolutionary than evolutionary. Apple simply improved on what has been described as the best desktop computer ever.

Richard Koman, writing for CIO Today, as do most techno media pundits, regurgitated Apple’s press release and web page specs on the iMac. He also managed to dig up some juicy contrarian quotes from the bizarro world of techno prognosticators.

In this case, juicy quotes from Rob Enderle, principal analyst for the Enderle Group (the not-so-principal analyst would be his wife, the other part of the “group”).

What does our old pal Rob have to say about the new iMacs? The “updates are modest, considering they were to be delivered in June,” quoting from Koman’s article.

Someone at Apple must have called Rob and explained that the new Macs were to be delivered in June but were going to be late because of the iPhone’s introduction.

Why? Because no one else in the world knows what Rob thinks he knows.

Wait. It gets worse. Enter the HP touchscreen PC, and the one year membership you’ll need at 24-Hour Fitness to operate said machine.

“The iMacs were late and there’s no touch stuff,” he said, arguing that “the iMac is lagging behind the HP TouchSmart.”

Puhleeze. But wait. It gets worse. Enderle added, it’s “unusual for HP to be ahead of Apple” in all-in-one machnes.

Stop it, Robby baby. My eyes hurt.

So, let me get this straight. Apple, because it did not put a touch screen into the iMac, has fallen behind HP in the technology of all-in-ones? I don’t think so.

I’ve seen the HP touch screen PC and I’ve touched it. Try it, Rob. Go on. Get HP to give you one so you can write a review of the latest technology to flop from HP.

Rob, you won’t be able to write a review of the HP touch screen PC because your frickin’ arms will be so tired because of all that elbow lifting. Maybe that’s just one reason why HP’s sales of the all-in-one have been hugely disappointing (see? I can dream up stuff just like any media analyst).

The HP is bigger, heavier, bulkier, costs more, runs slower and nobody with street cred is recommending it for any one for any purpose. On the other hand, the iMac is lighter, faster, with a smaller footprint, costs less, and is easier to use than HP’s model.

Maybe that’s why Apple is selling iMacs by the truckloads and HP has truckloads of all-in-one touch screen PCs that no one wants to touch anymore.

I no longer find it surprising or amusing that techno pundits such as Richard Koman go after quotes from bona fide techno idiots like Rob Enderle. Rob and his ilk produce wonderfully juicy quotes of pure drivel and nonsense—all of which get big hits to a web site.

End the suffering, Rob. Focus on what you know best and don’t mention anything Apple ever again. The world will be a better place.

Saying that the iMac lags behind the HP monstrosity could not be farther from the truth.