The Absolute Last List Of Macworld Rumors.

Take my list of Macworld rumors for 2007. Please. It’s heavy. It’s crazy. It’s too much to bear.

Never has there been a longer, more diversified, more expectant list of rumors and wants and imaginary products for Steve Jobs to deliver at Macworld this year.

Seriously. This year the list ranges from Steve Jobs taking a leave of absence after Macworld to Apple buying TiVo to more products than Santa could fit into his bag (and he covers the world).

In no particular order, but with full seriousness, here’s everything we’ve heard to date, and what we think of what’s coming. The obvious, the ridiculous, the imaginary.

Mac OS X Leopard
Duh, Bambi. I know what you’re thinking. ”It’s a good thing you don’t get paid to write such insightful drivel, Bambi.” But wouldn’t it be cool if I could get paid for writing drivel just like Rob Enderle and Paul Thurrott?

More show and tell on Leopard, but no shipping date. Maybe Steve will have time to show us all the cool secrets he didn’t show us back at WWDC.

iLife ‘07
Duh. I’m really out on a limb with this one, right? Expect an update. It’s an Apple tradition.

I’ll be disappointed if I can’t spend another $79 on iLife for the fifth year in a row (or whatever).

iWork ‘07
All signs point to an update of Pages, Keynote, and the addition of a spreadsheet. Again, I fork over another $79, but this rumor is a shoo-in.

iTV - Steaming Media Device
Yes, Steve will demonstrate iTV but it won’t ship for awhile. It’ll be cool and I’ll order one and be out another $300. Macworld’s are expensive.

iPod Cell Phone
Honestly, if this isn’t demonstrated and launched, fully 20-percent of modern civilization will cry and go home from work early. What bothers me is that this is Macworld, and not iPodworld, so it may not show up. See? I’m saving hundreds already.

MacBook Pro mini
This one has more shapes than Anna Nicole Smith. It’s either a wireless tablet mac, or a MacBook Pro in a 12-inch form factor, or an iPad communicator device.

Whatever, there’s a market but it’s a small one and Apple doesn’t seem to like small markets these days.

Widescreen iPod
Again, this is Macworld, but hey, if it’ll help sell Macs, why not introduce a new iPod to the world. Make this iPod a little bigger, with a wider screen, throw in wireless (I don’t know why that’s good, but every Mac site says it’s cool and we need it) and make it a pedal driven hybrid (they’re hot these days) and I’ll buy one.

Death of .Mac
That’s fine by me, and plenty of other Mac users who have shown disappointment at this poor disowned runt of the Mac litter. Either fix it, kill it, or make it better.

Apple LCD Television
I’ve read here and there for a year or two about an Apple branded LCD HDMI TV, possibly with an iSight camera built in, and as large as 50-inches.

At Apple’s typical prices for coolness, it’d cost about $14,000. It’d look cool in the stores as a way to demonstrate iTV.

More iTunes Store Movies
Duh, Bambi. The only problem with this one is that it’s expected, needed, and overdue. And there’s only two hours alloted for the Macworld keynote. Can Steve speak faster?

Beatles On iTunes Store
Why not? The lawsuit is settled, Apple Computer won, and Apple Corps lost. Get over it. Sell some music.

I heard a great Beatles joke last week. How would you describe the Beatles in the least number of words? Answer: two great songwriters, a great musician, and Ringo.

MacPro mini
This one keeps showing up on various lists, more out of habit than anything else. Apple’s selling a lot of notebooks, not a lot of desktops. Why bother?

Well, because I’d buy one if it had a quad core Intel CPU, room for one additional drive and looked cooler than the MacPro leftoverfromG5 models.

Steve Jobs Leaves Apple
Yes, this one showed up on a couple of lists, too. If it’s credible, sell your stock now.

Even a temporary leave of absence would hurt.

If Steve died it would be better for Apple and Mac users to not tell anyone and just look for keynote stunt doubles.

Adobe and Microsoft
More duh. I would expect both vendors to show off their Intel aware wares, though in brief show ‘n tell. Hey, remember Gilligan? It’s a two hour tour. A two hour tour.

Apple Statistics
May this be the last of the duhs for the day. Somehow, Steve will list some sales numbers for Macs, iPods, iTunes that will make Forrester’s former researchers look very silly.

Apple Buys Somebody
It’s TiVo or Adobe or a cell phone carrier or Samsung or Elgato or someone, right? Perhaps, but not at Macworld. It’s all about the Mac, right? Except for the iPod, iTunes Store, software, iTV, cell phone, et al.

To be fair, there are some details missing in the list, but that’s to be expected. It’s a list, not a book-- though it’s beginning to look like a booklength list. How about iChat running Skype? I’d go for that. At least I could chat with someone else besides other Mac users.

If there’s no new Mac hardware announced at Macworld, then we’re stuck with the current and former form factor until next year, long after OS X Leopard ships.

Is that a list? What did I miss? Google? Many pundits expects some kind of deal with Google now that CEO Eric Schmidt is on Apple’s board. So is former Veep Al Gore and that didn’t keep Greenpeace from making fools of themselves.

Finally, it’s your turn to let us know both what you expect and what you want to see at Macworld 2007. Kate MacKenzie and I plan to be at the keynote and will provide an update as best we can, either via cell phone or Blackberry.

Once the Macworld keynote is done, we’ll do a review and compare our predictions with the list with reality. It’s only fair.

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