True Confessions: I’m A Sucker For Toast Upgrades

As a very long time Mac user I’m officially obligated to upgrade that which I no longer use but am afraid to delete from my Mac. There’s the dreaded Curse of Deletion which inhabits all Macs for all Mac users.

Once you start upgrading software, you’re obligated to continue upgrading, otherwise something terrible will happen to your Mac’s files, your hard drive, your screen, your internet connection, or your complexion. In other words, upgrade to Roxio’s Toast 10 or you’re inviting netherworld spirits to wreak havoc on your Mac in retribution for your insolence.

Can there be any other reason for a Mac user to upgrade to Toast? Or, to buy Toast in the first place? Maybe.

I don’t know if that’s true for every Mac user that they’re affected by the Curse of Deletion but it’s been my experience that as soon as I decide not to go through with an expensive upgrade to some software utility, something dreadful happens to my Mac.

Either that, or I get pregnant. Again. After three kids in five years I’m making the annual upgrade to Toast an official pronouncement for all to hear. Toast 10 I love you.

After all, Toast has been around longer than most Mac users, longer than my children, longer than my husband, and about as long as the Second Coming of Steve Jobs.

What does Toast do that strikes envy and lust into the hearts of Mac users throughout terra firma (or, at least those parts with electricity)? It burns CDs and DVDs.

Wait a minute. I know what you’re thinking. “My Mac already burns CDs and DVDs a dozen different ways.” That’s what you’re thinking, right? And, since I’m still somewhat euphoric from my Macworld 2009 prognostications, I know what else you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, “Why should I buy or upgrade to Toast 10?” Because the number 10 is an important number in our space time continuum; Biblically speaking the number 10 represents perfection, completeness, and you’ll likely experience a plague or pregnancy if you don’t (I’m not too sure there’s much difference).

So, Toast isa 10. But the price of Toast is not so perfectly formed. Toast 10 Titanium (there is no longer a ‘basic’ Toast so ‘Titanium’ sounds redundant) starts at $99.99. A $20 mail-in rebate brings Toast to an improved $79.99. To start. From there you pay more. The Blue-ray disc plug-in, usually $19.99, is free, but only until February 5, 2009.

That’s not as much of an incentive to buy as perpetually guaranteed birth control, but some Mac users may have a different value proposition.

Toast 10 hosts a bunch of new features and utilities, all designed to complicate your CD and DVD burning life with more things to click, more things to remember to click, more to do, and yet another learning curve. If you think using iPhoto, iDVD, iTunes and iPhoto are complicated when trying to burn a CD or DVD, you’ll love Toast 10.

New in version 10 is a whole basement full of utilities you didn’t know existed but are certainly willing to pay for as soon as you can figure out why you need them. That’s not my job. I just upgrade to new software so I don’t get pregnant again.

Toast 10 features the ability to extract video clips of any DVD or video and convert to some format or another. You know, just because you can. You can also save web video clips, build an MP3 music library, convert audiobook CDs for your iPod.

Roxio is so happy with Toast 10 that they’ve divulged a heretofore unknown marketing secret. With Toast 10 you can enjoy over 20 new stunning DVD and Blu-ray Disc menu styles. I’ve been longing for that very feature (mostly while hospitalized and under sedation).

As if that’s not enough to get you to part with hard-earned plastic credit limits during a down economy and personal deficits, Toast 10 offers even more evidence that an economic turnaround is right around the corner.

The latest version has more options than the U.S. Government has economic incentives for the rich and famous to carry on their lifestyles. Burn to CDs, DVDs, and even Blu-rayd Discs (if you have one; if you don’t you won’t). One click copy will copy a disc to another disc, including dual layer DVD video discs.

Roxio’s Toast 10 is yet another way (besides iTunes) to expand, organize, catalog, archive, backup, and capture music files. If you’re big on video, TV shows, Elgato’s EyeTV products, you can find, convert, burn, video for CDs, DVDs, Blu-ray discs, and the iPhone and iPod of your choice (provided your choice is the choice of Toast).

Wait. Just when you thought that inflation might be under control, Roxio releases Toast 10 Titanium Pro. For $149.99 ($20 less after the all important mail-in rebate) you get everything you get for $79 in Toast 10, plus “pro quality results” in your video and photo projects.

Surely, that’s worth more money, right? You’ll get that all important High-Def/Blu-ray Disc Plug-in, SonicFire Pro soundtrack creation, SoundSoap SE audio noise reduction utility, the popular FotoMagico high def video slide show applications, and the point and click LightZone for photo editing.

Think of Toast 10 Pro as a Roxio version of MacUpdate or MacHeist promos but in a pretty box that says PRO. Or, download it and save a trip to the Apple Store, and save a tree while burning a dinosaur’s remnants (oil).

My favorite use for Toast has always been to create CDs or DVDs, which Mac OS X already does, but not with as many buttons or features or steps or things to learn, not to mention more ways to pay.

How is Toast 10 working so far on my Mac? Fine. I expect to get through the manual by later winter, and maybe figure out how to burn something by early spring.

In the meantime, I know my upgrade has already improved my life. Walmart called and said they have my order for a new palette of Pampers ready to be picked up. And my husband plans to follow the Chargers on their way to the Super Bowl. I’m safe for a few weeks. Thanks to my Toast upgrade.