Windows Bimbo Says OS X Leopard Looks Like Vista.

I’m baaaack. Did you miss me? What? You didn’t know I retired? Seriously. I’m back. For now.

Nothing brings a Mac woman out of retirement faster than online blathering from techno media pundits in a skirt.

Actually, I look down on women who pretend to know something about a subject, when they really don’t. Alright, I’m almost an inch over 5-feet, 11-inches tall so I look down on most women. But it’s out of habit and height, not haughtiness.

Add 4-inch heels and I get to look down on most men, too. It’s fun.

Since we last talked (or, rather, you read and commented on what I wrote), I’ve been married, traveled parts of the world (where there’s no maximum height requirement), and settled into a comfortable marriage retirement of sorts.

So, what would get me out of retirement to hit the keyboard for Mac360? Is it that iPhone I asked Steve Jobs to send me? No, it was blather from what can only be described as ZDNet’s latest intern from the Culver-Stockton College School of Journalistic Wannabes.

Seriously. So many mainstream media sites with blather for content, so many interns, so little time to provide correction.

OK, you talked me into it. One. More. Time.

What has me going today is Mary Jo Foley writing fantasizing for ZDNet. Women who write about tech should know a little of which they write. Mary Jo knows little of her subject and less how to write with reason.

So, Mary Jo writes, Leopard Looks Like… Vista, and that makes me sad. Sad because, well, everything she writes is wrong. Yes, Vista is point and click and in color. So is Mac OS X. That’s about where the similarities end.

What started her career in online blathering? Mary Jo visited Apple’s WWDC in San Francisco and came away with an epiphany. “Leopard Looks Like… Vista.” Uh huh. And I look like Kellie Pickler.

You’re kidding, right? Does Mary Jo work for the same folks who pay John Dvorak for his drivel? Or blather? I get those two mixed up. For what it’s worth, Mary Jo could simply be John Dvorak in drag. She looks pretty good, too, but didn’t fool me at all.

Yes, and a few said it was the absolute best WWDC ever, and a few thought is was OK, and a few haven’t done any thinking yet. What’s the point? Mac users and developers don’t call it a “love-fest”, John. Uh, MJ.

Yes, and some citizens of Iraq want Saddam Hussein back. Not one in ten Mac developers is worried about ZFS. Come on, MJ. What’s the “Z” in ZFS mean. No cheating and using Wikipedia.

It’ll be awhile before Apple does an iPhone SDK. Those things take awhile. In talking with Wil Gomez, friend of our Miss Kate MacKenzie, he agreed that many developers are miffed about the Web 2.0 AJAX bone thrown out by Jobs, but they’ll get over it.

I wonder how many shoes she’s shined at various and sundry Windows shows? With a short skirt, heels, low cut top, big smile, even interns can get work in technology.

That’s because there’s never a reason to utter a “wow” during a Vista demo. There’s no “wow” to be found.

Uh, well, yes there is a way not to compare the two. Remember, Windows Vista is just now catching up to the look and feel of Mac OS X Panther 10.3.9. Since then, there’s been Tiger, which was much better, and now Leopard, much better again.

“Vista looks pretty good?” How so, MJ? You must be having a senior moment to have missed an opportunity to display your fact finding ability. You’re a senior, right? Most interns are, right?

From there Mary Jo proceeds to review and compare and contrast the Top 10 Leopard features with Vista. This is a problem when you’re a senior. I’m not sure if it’s high school or college, but obviously there’s some background information Mary Jo failed to look up. Like the history of the Mac and same for Windows.

See, this one is supposed to let you know that Mac OS X Leopard is actually copying Windows Vista. Except that Aero and Sidebar are really copying OS X Panther with pieces from Tiger (it took Microsoft that long just to get Vista to beta mode).

Oh, my freakin’ gawd, Mary Jo. Head to LensCrafters, get an eye exam and a new set of contacts, or something. Please. The Mac’s Finder, for all its’ faults, is a few generations ahead of Vista’s, what is it called? Explorer?

CoverFlow is almost identical to Flip 3D? So, let’s see… where did Flip 3D come from?

Except for that part where they don’t do much of the same thing. There’s a difference between looking at a geneic icon of a file, vs. viewing everything that’s in the file. QuickLook is very, very handy. Vista’s thumbnail preview is what the Mac has used for ages.

Mary Jo, here’s the deal. 64-bit is and will be better than 32-bit. OS X is one single OS that does everything for $129, on whatever hardware platform the company makes, vs. multiple versions of a piecemeal OS with so many versions you need a scorecard.

That one is where Mary Jo lost whatever little credibility she had before, and I think is was little. Her parents called and asked her to stop.

If there’s no comparison, then why attempt a comparison. The “photo-sharing” application is the best you can do? Did ZDNet pay you for this? Seriously? Interns only get minimum wage, right? Oh, by the way, most folks were not wowed because we saw it already. It’s a developer thing. Wait for them to develop something.

I live in Vegas. Don’t come here and bet. You’d lose. Besides, the casinos are careful about allowing people to gamble, who, you know, have a “challenge.”

The 2.5 million copies of Boot Camp are likely spread over a much, much smaller number, since Boot Camp users will download a newer version and upgrade. Have you heard any stories of people buying Macs just so they can run Windows applications? Wanna bet me that it’s not 2.5-million?

That’s because we saw it already, and identified is as eye candy, which, if you were actually attractive, is what you’d be to the powers that be at ZDNet. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s just an opinion.

Here’s where you get a low grade, some extra demerits, detention, and loss of your “I French Kissed Steve Ballmer” t-shirt. Which came first? Dashboard Widgets or Sidebar with Gadgets?

Mac users have had their little Widgets for a couple of years already. It’s still eye candy, and nothing to get into blather lather about.

Comparing iChat Theater with Microsoft Share View is like comparing Driving Miss Daisy with Battlefield Earth. Both are movies. End of discussion.

Mary Jo, do you know how to set up Windows Vista so it’ll boot a clone from an external drive? Mac users do it all the time. Do Windows users even know how to find the cleverly named, and clearly convoluted Volume Shadow Copy? What do you use to backup your Windows PC? Please tell.

And so all the fun must end, though not quite quickly enough.

Mary Jo closes with a humble, “Granted, I am not an Apple user. So I’m sure I’m glossing over some subtleties regarding what’s new and cool in Leopard… So, Apple folks: What am I missing?”

If you’re not even a friggin Apple user does that mean you don’t even have an iPod? The Apple computer is called a Mac, honey.

Mary Jo’s article received nearly 2,000 Diggs, dozens of comment reponses, and a Yea or Nay vote of -47 votes. What’s that say?

What you get from Mary Jo is a sample of the sorry state of journalism, commentary, and analysis from mainstream media, of which ZDNet plays a big part—a big part in perpetuating myths, fulfilling stereotypes, and giving women in tech a bad name.

Mary Jo, take it from those of us, many Mac users, who use both Macs and Windows PCs—Vista is decent and an improvement over XP, which was an improvement over, what, uh, Windows ME? Mac OS X Leopard does not look like Vista. Deal with it. Or get a Mac, use it for 30 days, and report back to us. We’ll be waiting.

Not.