Some things catch my eye. Some don’t. This morning I walked by my husband’s Mac and saw a blonde on the screen. As in, “that’s not me” blonde.
His MacPro has one of Apple’s new 24-inch LED Cinema Displays so the photos are bright, vibrant, almost Kodachome. But the blonde I saw on his screen from the corner of my eye wasn’t me. “Honey, what are you looking at?” as I grabbed my glasses to take a closer look.
My closer look revealed a beautiful machine gun toting blonde moll standing in front of a real old car, circa gangster movies of the 20s and 30s. “Where’d you get that?”
Sometimes there’s a fine line between porn and photographs of beautiful women. In this case, it wasn’t porn and it wasn’t a photo. It was what is called car art—paintings of classic automobiles, sometimes featuring finely tuned women.
As it turned out my husband is a subscriber to a newsletter for international automobile art. It’s just the two of us but we have five cars. There’s mine. There’s his. And there’s three more of his, which are parked somewhere else besides our two-car garage.
Seriously, it’s a guy thing. So it must be for car art, too. Car Art is a place where guys, uh, car aficionados, go to get original car art paintings, limited edition prints, and posters of—here it comes—cars.
Sometimes scantily clad or beautiful women near the cars, but mostly cars.
The deal is simple. Subscribe to the newsletter and you get a free calendar. No, not the pin up kind. A calendar featuring classic automobiles—on your Mac. It’s a Mac calendar, scheduler, to-do list, event countdown, and more.
Granted, the beautifully illustrated graphics are visually stunning. Think of Alberto Vargas with a fetish for cars instead of blondes.
Our Macs are sacred places. It’s the most personal of personal computers, so who am I to judge when a man decides to view beautiful automobiles on his screen, instead of, say, a screen saver of photos of his wife. In this case, that would be me.
No. No photos of his favorite (I think) blonde bombshell show up in his screen saver. I’m not on his desktop either (unless we’ve had a scintillating dinner and drinks at home).
But some unknown, well-stacked, machine gun-toting blonde with a skirt up to here, wearing red high heels, one of which is propped up provocatively on some ancient automobiles bumper, gets the face time on his Mac.
Next question: “Honey, how much did this newsletter and calendar cost?” The barbarian blonde is at the gate, knocking politely on the door, verbal battering ram at the ready.
His answer was typical man. “I don’t remember exactly, but it wasn’t much.” That’s probably true. From what I can see, car art ranges from $20 for attractive prints of old cars that only guys would recognize or appreciate, all the way to a second mortgage.
Second mortgage? For a print of an old car? Not quite. Car Art’s consignment gallery has a Walter Gotsche original painting that’s been reduced by a mere $9,000. See? Second mortgage time.
Car Art can also get Mac car loves an original painting of your own car, even highlighting it as a “unique gift for the man in your life.” I wouldn’t be looking at Car Art except for the man in my life so now I’m expected to commission a painting of his car? One of them I’ve never even seen and three of them he won’t let me drive.
Suddenly the calendar on his Mac, courtesy of the Car Art newsletter subscription didn’t seem like such a bad deal.