You gotta leave it to the American sense of humor to divide and conquer our sensibilities.
Apple co-founder and CEO, Steve Jobs is gone for barely a month and there’s news that honcho-in-charge Tim Cook is already putting his thumbprint on Apple’s products. This week we got news of a secret project and an announcement of a new line of MacBook models.
If It’s In Print, It’s True, Right?
A friend sent me the news about the new Mac and I pounced on it—hook, line, and sinker. I was told that a major publication had all the details of the new Macs.
And it would be apparent to Mac watchers that this MacBook would be all Tim Cook (interim CEO).
In fact, the design was said to be so revolutionary, that except for the Dock of icons, customers would not even be able to recognize the new Mac as a Mac.
How radical is that? Speech recognition? Mind reading? Nope. Apple, so I was told, had developed a living, breathing bio-Mac. Not just a personal computer, a computer that behaves like a person.
Don’t Believe Everything You Read
Alas, the new bio-Mac turned out to be a mock presentation by Tim Cook for the world’s most grotesque computer, complete with a fully functioning digestive, muscular, and urinary system.
Mock? Thank you, The Onion.
In true Onion style, Tim Cook is shown standing on stage with a huge image of the bio-Mac covering the screen.
Quotes abound and none of them are good. One Apple employee was quoted as saying about the new Mac:
It appeared to be discharging some sort of mucus-type substance from the headphone jack and making these weird murmuring sounds. And then it started quivering at one point when Tim was demonstrating how to use the touch pad. It was quite upsetting, actually.
That should tell you right away that The Onion is doing its best to mock Apple’s reputation for laser-like focus on new product presentations.
One customer is quoted as saying:
I tried to force-quit some of the programs, but it got all slow and began to turn this sickly purple color. Finally I hit the eject button and a tray popped open and spit out a bunch of teeth. Why does it have teeth?
In The Onion’s world, Apple created a Mac that mimics creatures from Star Trek. As the story goes, The Onion created quotes from media, customers, and even Tim Cook himself who was perplexed at the reaction to his creation.
I watched Steve Jobs build the Apple brand from the ground up, and I know that the name of the game here is cutting-edge. Honestly, I felt like the next logical step would be a laptop that feels like an extension of your body. The design may not be perfect, but I’m hoping over time maybe people will learn to love it, just as it will learn to love them.
How funny is that? To get all the gory, grotesque details on the new Mac, grab the whole story from The Onion. It’s fun reading.