I read the news today, oh boy, about a lucky man who made the grade. And though the news was sad, well, I just had to laugh.
The news? How Google’s Chrome OS on cheap PC netbooks and tablets and smart phones will destroy Apple, the Mac, the iPhone, the iPad, and in the process probably lower the price of oil, improve on sliced bread, and make Depends required wearing for anyone over 30. Or, not.
Chrome OS: The Once And Future King
As if the crowded marketplace for PCs and smart phones wasn’t crowded enough, Anton Wahlman, opined that Google’s Chrome OS is the future of mobile devices.
Wait a minute? Did I wake up in an alternate universe this morning?
Damn that before bed chocolaty laxative. It can wreak unintended consequences, I tell you.
After checking and rechecking, The Street’s article, Biggest Threat To Apple: Google Chrome OS was still stuck in my Safari window and wouldn’t go away, so it must be true. Yep. That was it. Apple is doomed. Again. This time it’s not a death knell at the hands of Microsoft, or WebOS, or even Android.
It’s Google’s yet-untried, unavailable, somewhat unknown operating system for the masses, Chrome OS.
Of Birthers And Tech Prognosticators
Listen, dear readers, this is what happens when you spike the cocoa before bedtime. Looney ideas find their way to the web. Do you realize how much spiked cocoa influenced the birther movement in the US.
Right behind is Google destroying Microsoft, Apple, and the telecommunications industry with yet another free operating system. How’d that work out for Linux? Oh, wait. Android and Chrome are Linux, right? All three are free, right?
Anyway, The Street wisely describes Wahlman as a mere contributor (in much the same way that Gerber contributes to my youngest daughter’s soiled diapers). You see, Wahlman knows the truth. It’s not Android, folks.
People are focusing too much on Android, which has already overtaken Apple’s iOS in terms of the global unit shipment rate…
Then Apple is doomed because the iPhone can’t compete against a free smart phone operating system that anyone can use. Yes, I know Google makes very little money on Android, and Apple probably makes $600 or $700 on each iPhone, but still.
Wait. That’s Android. How can Chrome OS defeat Apple where Microsoft and Android have not?
Starting some time around July or August, Google’s partners Samsung and Acer will launch laptops and perhaps also a desktop or two, based on Chrome OS. I am guessing laptops will start at $299 and “naked” desktops at $149.
Oh, netbooks. Yeah, I just read that netbook sales are down 40-percent since the iPad came out. Somehow, in Anton Wahlman’s parallel universe, cheaper netbooks that don’t do as much as already cheap netbooks will somehow displace the Mac. And the iPad. And the iPhone. And all other smart phones and mobile devices. And, Lady Gaga.
At some point in the future, perhaps as early as the December 2011 quarter but more likely some time in 2012, Chrome OS is likely to make it to the tablet market.
Uh oh. Apple’s iPad is doomed. How so? Because a Chrome OS tablet will only cost $199 to $299 vs. the iPad starting price at $499. Somehow, by next year, web apps and HTML5 will provide a similar user experience to iPad apps.
Please tell me that this Google OS juggernaut won’t disrupt Apple’s iOS gravy train at some future point in that parallel universe.
At some point in the future, probably no earlier than 2012 and quite possibly in 2013, Google will likely offer the Chrome OS architecture for smartphones. They can be made a lot cheaper, and have a greater security, than any current smartphone.
Uh oh. Apple’s iOS iDevice parade is doomed. Why? How? Because Google will drop Android in favor of Google Chrome OS devices (which, somehow, in that universe, will be cheaper to make, and perform better than current iPhone and Android and Windows Phone 7 and whatever else smart phones.
Apple can’t be the only loser in this scenario, right?
Near term, the losers are primarily Microsoft with its dominant Windows 7 position in the PC laptops and desktops. Intermediate-term, the loser is Apple, with its dominant iPad tablet market position, although Android, RIM and Hewlett-Packard are also likely to suffer.
Maybe in Wahlman’s universe, Chrome OS isn’t run by Google. Maybe he doesn’t know that Android isn’t a company, it’s Google Inside. Maybe he doesn’t know about the relationship between Linux and Android and Chrome and all those heavy duty lawsuits floating around.
Long term, the losers are all of them—Android, Apple’s iOS, RIM’s BlackBerry, Microsoft with its Windows 7 Phone and HP with WebOS. Chrome OS is just so attractive and powerful that it threatens to wipe out much of the rest of the computing industry as we know it—whether it’s called a PC, a tablet or a smartphone.
Seriously, where was this guy when the birther movement really needed him?
He’s got the goods and the methodology to crack that birth certificate problem. No facts. No details. No nothing on exactly how Chrome OS, regardless of the universe, is more attractive and more powerful than Windows, Mac OS X, Linux, WebOS, BlackBerry, et al.
There’s not one word about apps (one of the reasons we buy such devices). There’s not one word about how a Chrome OS device somehow would be less expensive to manufacture than a comparable non-Chrome OS device, or why or how it would be better.
Man, oh man. I gotta get me a job whereby conspiracy theorists at The Street will pay me to write rubbish while under the influence of a spiked cocoa-laced laxative. In Wahlman’s case, staring too long into a cloudy crystal ball caused writer’s incontinence. For now, let me bask in the euphoria of a techno-cult-induced intoxication that my Mac and iPhone will still be useful for a few more months.