Hillary Clinton says something to the effect that she doesn’t bother to explain her email or foundation scandal because no matter what she says it won’t fix the problems of television news. Fair enough.
Likewise, why should we care about iPhone 7? Why? I just read an article that asks that same question and other than ‘Because I want to’ I don’t think there’s a good answer. It’s that whole ‘wants vs. needs’ argument that our parents and teachers made back when calling someone to talk meant using an analog device instead of a supercomputer in our pockets.
Is it time to stop caring about iPhone?
‘Say It Ain’t So, Joe!’
The latest missive from ZDNet’s writers and argumentative bridge trolls comes from David Gewirtz who asks, “Why do we even care?” Well, you’re on the iPhone Upgrade Program so you have only one of two choices.
Theoretically, all I have to do is drive an hour and a half, wait in line for an hour or two, fill out paperwork for an hour, transfer everything dear to me to a new phone, and drive back home for an hour and a half with a brand new phone.
Or, just keep paying for last year’s model, save yourself the trip, and stop writing about the iPhone 7 because if you don’t own it, you shouldn’t flog it, amirite? It’s a new iPhone. Like always, it’s going to be thinner, faster, lighter; except not necessarily thinner or lighter enough to matter.
But faster. With a better camera. If you have the money. And no headphone jack. If you have the money.
I’m all for a better camera. In fact, the single biggest benefit of the iPhone 6s Plus has, to me, been its camera. I’ve taken some splendid pictures of my little pup.
I suppose a noted technology writer gets on the iPhone Upgrade Program to ensure that a new iPhone will be available so the aforementioned writer will have something to write about, but before it even gets here the prognostication is iPhone 7 will be so boring that tech writers all across the country are pulling double duty reading Deteriorata in the dark while holding up their old iPhones and running a lighter app vigil.
Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself; and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys. Know what to kiss – and when.
Blah, blah, blah… bored technology writers… blah.
Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be: hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. GIVE UP!
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Life is full of choices. And just as The Register stands for ‘biting the hand that feeds IT‘ technology writers have become more like modern day politicians, extolling the virtues of themselves more than the products they use. vacillating over whether new is better, and old is just good enough, so “Why should we care?” is the 21st century rallying cry that more resembles “Give Up!”
The point of all this is that, sure, the iPhone 7 is shaping up to be a nice enough phone. But, so what? The iPhone 6s is a damn fine phone as it is. Speaking personally, it’s one of my two favorite all-time phones. My other favorite, from back in the day, was the Palm Treo. I’ve found the iPhone 6s Plus to be incredibly useful, and far less annoying than I expected.
So why do we need to put ourselves through all of this? Do we really need an iPhone 7? Is there anything, at least based on the rumors, that we really need? Sure, we usually give Apple a big fuss, but think about this. Be honest with yourself. Do you really care? Really?
Someone needs a nap.